Jesse Pinkman and Walter White (Breaking Bad)
Jesse: Yo, I get I shouldn't call, but I'm in a situation over here, and I need my money.
Walt: I just gave you $600.
Jesse: Yeah, and thanks, Daddy Warbucks, but that was before my housing situation went completely testicular on me, okay?
Jesse: You either run from things, or you face them, Mr. White.
Walt: And what exactly does that mean?
Jesse: I learned it in rehab. It's all about accepting who you really are. I accept who I am.
Walt: And who are you?
Jesse: I'm the bad guy.
Walt: [On phone at hospital with Skyler looking on] Well yes, I will be sure and pass your best wishes on to everyone. Thank you and goodbye.
Jesse: [On phone back at meth lab] Oh yeah. And tell that douche bag brother-in-law of yours to go towards the light.
Jesse: Dude, you scared the shit out of me. When you say it's contamination. I mean, I'm thinking like... an ebola leak or something.
Jesse: Yeah, it's a disease on the Discovery Channel where all your intestines sort of just slip right out of your butt.
Walt: Thank you, I know what ebola is.
Jesse: [about drug dealers using kids to sell methamphetamine] Hearts and minds, right? Get them young and they'll be yours forever
Walt: You clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in: I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot, and you think that of me? No! I am the one who knocks!